marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
