I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He kissed a someone with a penis
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
