His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
