so explain again why im purple
no
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
