Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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