Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its about making memories worth repressing
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
