At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
