Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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