I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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