so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
