I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
