Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
