Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
