My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Sorry about my life...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
