That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
