Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
