so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
