Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
