oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
