I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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