okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
