A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
