So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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