i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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