I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
