Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
