so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
