I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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