I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
