My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
