Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And then my night got REAL pukey
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
