Already got asked if we're dating
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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