I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
