Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
