come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
