And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
