It's like God shit irony all over that family
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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