He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So squirting runs in the family.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
