honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
