I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You did what with his pubic hair?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
