It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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