Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
