Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
