I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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