Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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