I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
