If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
