you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
