would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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