I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
